What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
