Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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