I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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