I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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