felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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