It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
