Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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