What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
