I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
