I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
