So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
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