morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
