Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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