had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Boobs are out for the taking
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
