Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
