I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
