dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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