found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
