real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
