I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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