We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
