can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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