bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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