She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
