Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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