Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
