nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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