That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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