I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize