You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
