what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
