Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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