Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
