So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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