so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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