So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
