Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
