I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
