He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize