Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
