Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
