i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
