Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
