Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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