chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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