you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
