You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
