Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So much Jack, so little girl.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
