Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
