This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
