It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize