you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
