Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
