The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
