i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
