I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize