I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
