I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
