I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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