Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
