are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
