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He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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