While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He better not be in your backpack
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
