the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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