We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
