He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
