the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize